Leaving The Amazing Behind

The 4th of July is actually an Important Day to me… Not only do they do a Little Local Parade in the Valley where I grew up every year… One that you can hear from your home, even if you don’t make it down to it.

But I’ve also had a slew of Good Memories on the 4th…

In the 90′s My Girlfriend at the time, Mom, Mom’s Boyfriend and I used to go to a nearby Mall, and Park outside of it… Go inside, spend the day just messing around in the Mall, and then as the sun began to set, we’d head outside to the Cars… I actually owned Pick Up Trucks in the 90′s, and we’d lay out Sleeping Bags in the back of the Pick Up Bed, and have a bit of a Pic Nic while we all sat back there…

Then as the sun went down, more and more people would return to their cars, and eat, and play boardgames, or toss a Nerf Football around…

And when the Sun would set, they’d start to Shoot Off Fireworks from a hillside near the Parking Lot.

It was Pretty Awesome… We did this for many years.

And when I was younger, we used to go the Beach, and Set Off Fireworks… Build Sandcastles, and Stick Twinklers in them, making them look all Celebratory.

Yeah, the 4th has always been an Amazing Holiday for/to me.

Sadly, there are those Holidays where it’s Pretty Quiet… Not that there’s anything wrong with Quiet, I actually get a lot of Quiet in my day to day life though, so I admit, when Holidays come around, I find Myself wanting to be around Family, and/or Loved ones.

Generally I do see My Mom and her Boyfriend around the Holiday, which is awesome… But who I don’t see is My Brother who lives up north… Haven’t seen him in a year and a half now, which is way too long.

And I admit, I do find myself missing People that have been in My Life, that are no longer in My Life.

Always had the Best Holidays with my Last Girlfriend of 4 1/2 Years… We’re both kind of Homebodies to a degree, so we’d generally Order In Bar B Q Food, and Play Online Games, Ha… Then later Watch Fireworks on T.V…. It was extremely mellow, but a lot of fun.

But when Holidays come around, I also just tend to miss the People that are no longer in My Life… Like My Wife of one year… We were married from October 2001, to October 2002… Well that’s when we separated that is… We actually finalized the Divorce some 6 or so Months later.

Ours was a fairly short Relationship… We were Together One Year, and then got Married… Most unexpectedly… Then we moved to Eugene Oregon temporarily so that I could Work on Films with My Brother, while she tried for Work in her Field in several other Cities… Due to the Nature of her Work, the Plan was to move where ever she ended up Finding a Job… And we thought we’d just hook up with My Brother in the Meantime, so I could Work on Films with him.

It was during that period that we ended up doing My Short Film, “If Not Now…”… Which My Wife Filmed some 60% of, I Filmed about 35%, and My Brother threw in some Accent Shots.

But sadly she’s out of My Life now, and along with My Last Girlfriend, I miss them Both… I guess that’s the way it works when you’re Single… You miss the Last Relationships in your Life… Unless you’re Bitter About the Relationships, but I’m not.

There’s reasons why they didn’t work out, and those Reasons are still there.

None the Less, I Really Miss them both on this Holiday.

The reason I Called This Post “Leaving The Amazing Behind”, is the one word that always came to mind to me about My Wife was, “Amazing”.

Nuff Said

Thanks For Listening

And Happy 4th of July

DarkJade-

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6 Responses to “Leaving The Amazing Behind”

  1. This probably isn’t any consolation, but after holidays with family came wife. And after wife came girlfriend.
    Hope Amazing comes around again for you soon, and until then, enjoy the happy memories and have a great holiday!

    • Thanks Guapo it does help to hear other People’s Positive Perspective… I’m not down all that Often, so it always takes me a bit off guard when I get down around a Holiday, as I still really like the Holidays…

      I too hope “Amazing” comes around again… As a kid, I always wanted to meet “The One”… But instead I’ve met several Incredible People, and I don’t regret any of them.

      Went out and picked up some 4th of July Food, and going to sit back and enjoy a Yankees Game… So I must say, Life is Pretty Good right now… Thanks for your Encouraging Words.

      Happy 4th to you as well!

      DarkJade-

  2. Holidays have a way of stirring memories DJ. But some things are best left behind for good or we remain in a time warp, unable to forge ahead in life. Take care.

    • I agree Madhu… I’m definitely not the type of person that Dwells on the Past… It’s Pretty Much Pointless, Lol… But like you say, the Holidays do bring up Feelings, and the next thing I know, I’m thinking about, and Dreaming about old Relationships… It can be tough, but I’m getting through it.

      Thanks so much for your Kind Words

      Happy 4th to you!

      DarkJade-

  3. No matter how or why it ended, I’d bet she’d like to know that… not to drudge up the past completely, but just to hear you have some good memories!

    • Unfortunately, I’m the only one that seems to remember the Good Memories… The last I talked to her, it was all about Blame… We had maintained a Friendship after we separated, but then we went many years without talking… As I was involved, and generally that just doesn’t work. But I did try to contact her last year, and at first she was friendly, but quickly went down this huge path of blame… And more than that, she seemed to have altered the past, which when I brought it up, she just didn’t remember certain things… And seemed to remember things that weren’t actually the case.

      Bottom line, she wasn’t just saying we should never have gotten Married… She was basically saying, we should have never dated… So needless to say, it was a bit of a painful conversation.

      I was mostly just glad that she was alive and well… But she really doesn’t want to maintain a friendship, which is ok… But I am a bit bummed about…

      She was pretty young when we got married, and was pretty much going through an Identity Crisis by the end of our time together… And when you don’t know who you are, it’s hard to be “Married”…

      I wish telling her I think she’s Amazing would have some impact on the overall Friendship, but I really don’t think it would. For the most part, People want to hear those things from People they want to hear them from. Not someone they moved on from. I suspect our Needs are Gigantically different…

      Thanks for your Comment Tiff

      DarkJade-

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