Fear Trigger Points

Fear Trigger Points

Have you ever been through something so traumatic… That sometimes in your present life, something will trigger those feelings right back to the surface. I suspect we all have.

Fear is insane… So powerful. So relentless.

The best advice I ever received about Fear was from my very close friend, who is also the Architect that I do some Admin./Marketing consulting for… As well as my mom’s boyfriend of 30+ years.

He said the best thing to do with Fear, is to walk right through it.

Experience it.

Go through it.

Argh, this sounds treacherous, but in truth I’ve referred to this conversations many times over the years, when confronted with a “scary” situation.

Fear.

Just saying it can be a positive thing whenst in the middle of it.

Fear.

He’s also suggested, from some therapy that he himself had done in his past, that it is good to just say it.

“I am afraid of “BLANK”" (whatever Blank might be)

“I am afraid of “BLANK”"

“I am afraid of “BLANK”"

Over… And over… Again.

It can be difficult to do that sometimes. But. It can also help you to work your way through it.

Fear is a funny thing, because in one respect, it’s a natural “Warning” you know?

But trauma… Trauma can cause emotional signatures within our subconscious, that when triggered like I say, can bring the fear, and/or emotional signature, of a previous situation right back into our lap… Right back into our life.

And let me tell you it can not only be terrifying, but in some cases, detrimental, or harmful to the present situation.

Fear.

There are a few areas in my life where I went through some difficult traumas… Some within relationships, some not.

And I have considered doing therapy myself in regards to these traumas.

I have indeed done some therapy a while back in regards to other things… Not tons of it, but a hand full of sessions from time to time.

Like when my wife of one year left.

She was on day one of taking a break from our marriage, and called me and said “I don’t want to be married anymore”.

For us, separating wasn’t so much due to our relationship, but rather our individual relationships with ourselves.

I knew this, and I loved her, so I said ok.

I got off the phone, and called my therapist friend and started doing sessions once every week or so with him from that day forward.

Truth be known, I had already gone through a major heartache 4 years prior, which rendered me emotionally smashed, lol

Yup, one year of nightmares from that one, ha

So when my wife left, I wasn’t heartbroken in that way.

It was different… But I digress.

My point is, I did counseling immediately in regards to our separation.

And I do believe it helped.

But I’ve never done any therapy in regards to the breakup where I was smashed, lol

And I’m starting if maybe I need to.

Because here I am 15 years later, and that same fear, that same pain has begun to rear its ugly head.

And frankly, I’m not all that cool with it, lol

It’s not who I am now… It’s not where I am now.

I need to work through this… I need to let it go. It was so many years ago, and it was a very volatile situation.

I’d just come out of an 8 year relationship, and she had separated from her 5 year marriage.

We were all about the cliche’, lol

We weren’t exactly each others rebound or anything like that.

We were very close friends, who kind of fell into each others arms in a time of need.

It was a good thing in certain respects.

But reality would not hear of it, and thus pummeled each of us within a few months of seeing one another.

I don’t want these feelings anymore.

It’s time to move on, to heal, to let it go.

It’s over… And it needs to be over.

I wish to release my heart of this burden, and love freely again.

It is my desire, dream and passion.

I wish to be free again.

Anyway… I hope all of you are doing well.

My Writing projects have been delayed a bit, due to waiting for one of my Editors to become available.

But this has not occurred, and so I move on.

All the best

Thanks for listening.

DarkJade-

DarkJade – 2013… First Quarter Update

DarkJade – 2013… First Quarter Update

With just a few days left in March, 2013… It’s hard to believe that we’re already a 1/4 of the way into the Year… Wow, Right? Lol

Thusly, this is Look at what I’ve been up to during the First Few Months of this year, as well as where I’m at and headed.

Self Publishing;

Chess With Agahta - “Chess With Agatha” (First in My Planes of Ordose Trilogy of Fantasy Novels) was Edited by an Actual Editor, and I will be getting with My Editor from my “I Died Once” Novella to just look over a few things with me in a couple weeks. Hopefully, I’ll be Self Publishing it in April.

 

Allure - “Allure”, Book I in my Vampire Novella Series has been sent off to my Friend who will in the next little while Review it, and send me back her Comments. At that point I’ll make some adjustments to it, and thus Create My 2nd Draft. She will then further down the road do some Line Editing of it (Grammar/Story Clarity Etc.), and send that to me. All of this is what I standardly do prior to Hiring an Actual Editor for a Book. Somewhere in the back of my head I’m hoping to Self Publish this First “Allure” Novella by June-July, 2013.

 

 

Writing Projects;

Mady’s Storm – “Mady’s Storm”, the Unplanned Sequel Novella to “I Died Once”, which I started Writing towards the end of last year, will be continued at some point. As I’ve mentioned before, I definitely felt like there was much more to tell about Mady, the main Character of “I Died Once”, especially since she was only 15 years old in the First Novella. I started Posting the First Draft here, and have more Skeleton Framework for more, and will be continuing this at some point. For those of you who want to check out the Sequel Posts, you can check out the Chapters Here Mady’s Storm (Novella). But I definitely recommend you reading “I Died Once” first. Whether you Read the Rough First Draft Posts I did on this Site, or Pick Up a Printed or Ebook Copy on Amazon.

Iliad – “Iliad”, Book II in the “Planes Of Ordose” Trilogy. I started “Iliad” in January this year, but quickly decided to hold off on continuing until after I Self Publish the First Book in the Series, “Chess With Agatha”. I would definitely recommend reading “Chess With Agatha” first, which will be Self Published soon. Or for those of you that don’t want to wait, or don’t plan on picking up a copy, you’re welcome to read the Original Posts of “Chess With Agatha”, but they are very Un-Edited, Lol.

Seers Of The Night – “Seers Of The Night”, Book II in the “Allure” Vampire Novellas Series. One of the reasons I decided to start Self Publishing the “Allure” Novellas, is because for some reason this Series just flows with me… And like “Iliad”, the only reason I stopped Writing it, is so that I can catch up and Self Publish the First Book. I will continuing to Write & Post the First Draft of this Second Novella soon as well.

Sci-Fi Novel?? – I’m also considering starting to Write a Sci-Fi Novel… This is something I’ve never done, though I have had a Sci-Fi Blog Series, and have Posted additional Beginnings of Sci-Fi Blog Series, that kinda died off. I’m not sure that I will be undertaking this right now, but I am considering it. When I was pursuing Film Making, the First Two “Star Wars” Films were a Major Motivation behind wanting to Write, and Direct Films… Which might play a role in why I’d like to Write a Sci-Fi Book at some point. We shall see.

Blog Posts;

Poetry – In addition to all my Story Writing, Journalism Posts, Music Posts, I also tend to Write a fair share of Poetry. In fact the first Book I ever Self Published, was back in Jan, 2012. “Winter, Lust, And Wonder“, which was a set of Poems from my First Ever Posts on this Blog, back between the Months of Sep-Oct, 2011.

Here Are the Poems that I have Written in this First 1/4 of 2013

Beyond Truth – Volume Eleven (January-February, 2013)

• It’s Been Too Long
• I Miss My Friend
• Discretion
• I’m Still Here
• Dark Moon
• Spring Will Come
• Dark River
• Windblown
• Dream Watch
• Wicked Winter
• Nostalgia Storm
• Escape
• Lion
• Fair To You
• Paradigm Of Love
• Blue Glass
• Relevant

Nine – Volume Twelve (March-The Present)

• Somewhere
• Tears
• Red Light
• Silence
• Wondering
• Wavelength
• One Like You
• Sudden Love
• Discouraged
• For Madison
• I Was A Fool
• Bluer

Music Posts;

DarkJade Watch – On Occasion I’ll Come Across a Video, or Live Performance that Really Grabs me… So back in November, 2012, I I Started a New Series Called “DarkJade Watch“, where I Share My Findings with My Readers/Followers/Friends.

Here’s the Posts I did so far this year…

1/15/13 – Some ‘Post’ Editing Stones

2/9/13 – Lisdsey Stirling (Transcendence Street Jam)

2/25/13 – RadioAkshun (Music By Imagine Dragons)

3/10/13 – Genesis (Grimes)

3/16/13 – Surface Of The Sun (John Murphy) – Metal Version

I also do some Posts of Videos that I make, and Post, over on my “Dark’s Media Empire” Vlog.

Blog Series;

Vengeance – Though I haven’t been focusing as much on Writing New Blog Series lately, I did actually start a New one that I may, or may not continue… We shall see. I do like it… It’s called “Vengeance“.

Additional Posts; I do also do many other types of Posts, such as DarkJade Updates, Posts on the Editing Process, Writing Process, and Self Publishing Process… In addition to many others things.

Definitely Check Out The Category Link along the Right Side of the Blog, to see if any of those things Interest you.

This Post has indeed become Long Enough, Lol And so I just want to say Thank you for your Continued Interest and Support of My Writing Efforts, all of your “Likes”, and in some cases “Comments”, really do mean a lot to me. As well just seeing the amount of people that View the Site.

I’m Looking forward to this Second Quarter of the Year (Though there’s still a few days left in this one, Lol), and Hope to see you Viewing, Liking, and Commenting on the Site!

DarkJade-

Writing, Editing, Recovering

Writing, Editing, Recovering

So it’s been kind of a difficult week

But I shall return to my Writing, and Editing, and try to get back into a Rhythm.

I Miss Writing, so that’s good… And I’m almost complete with my 5th Draft of “Chess With Agatha”

After that, as I’ve mentioned before, I hope to get my sister to look over it with me, and make my final changes before Self Publishing it… If she’s just not available, I’ll most likely just do it myself.

I Hope you are all Well, the Weekend is coming (At least for those of you who do the Mon-Fri thing), so that’s good.

I Hope you all have a Lovely Weekend

DarkJade-

So This Happened, Lol

So This Happened, Lol

It’s The Little Things, Lol

DarkJade-

The Vengeance – Training

The Vengeance

by DarkJade

Episode I – Light

Episode II – Employment

Episode III – Training

Vengeance; Punishment inflicted in retaliation for an injury or offense

“I have failed you Kin… And now with both you, and Father gone… I am lost.”

“It is the Vengeance alone that keeps me going… Keeps me breathing… Keeps my heart beating”

“Though the Blood it pumps be black.”

“I have yet to prove that Mr. Mashahiro is behind both your disappearance, and father’s death…”

“But in my heart… And in my gut… I know it to be true”

“And so I will continue to train… Not as Tukui Shinsou, Military Pawn to a Government out for itself…”

“No… I am free of that now… But with what I’ve learned within those walls… There will be no escape”

“for Mr. Mashahiro… But It must be at the right moment… He is an extremely powerful, and well”

“guarded man… So I shall train hard, but at night, under a new identity… I will be Adauchi…”

“I will be…”

“Vengeance.”

Japan

The Year 2080

Tokyo City

Mr Mashahiro’s Home

4:24pm

Mr. Mashahiro is at his desk looking over some documents on his computer screen.

Within his chamber are two well armed bodyguards in white suits, and shades.

A late twenty something year old man in a grey suit enters the office. His name, is Juro.

“What is it Juro, I am very busy today… Trying to run an Empire here,” snaps Mr. Mashahiro without looking up at him.

“He was here… Sir,” replies Juro.

Mr. Mashahiro looks up at him bothered if anything. “Who was here?”

“Well… Not here… But across the street… Tukui Shinsou… Sir.” With this Juro swallows loudly.

Mr. Mashahiro stands, “You were supposed to keep men on him!”

“And we did… Sir… Which is what lead us… Here,” Juro replies.

“He was watching your home… Sir,” he finishes.

“Well then… Send him a singular warning… I will not tolerate anymore of his ‘watching’ me,” Mr. Mashahiro speaks, then sits back down at his desk and goes back to work.

Jiro bows, “Yes Sir… Consider it done.”

Jiro leaves the room.

Katsuo Industries

5:03pm

Tokui and Arata leave work.

“Hey, I’m going to go grab some noodles and fish… Care to join me?” speaks Arata.

“No… I mean… I have something I have to do in Tokyo City,” replies Tokui.

“Tokyo City?” Arata replies back.

Tukui gets on a hovering bus transport destined for Tokyo City, and waves back at Arata.

Arata scratches his head, and waits for his bus transport.

Tokyo City

A Hydro Bike Outlet

6:15pm

Tokui is purchasing an extremely expensive, and fast yellow Hydro Bike, black riding gear, and a helmet.

He pays the man in cash-tokens.

An Abandoned Factory

7:00pm

Tokui is inside an abandoned building training in a Hybrid, Military Taught Form of Martial Arts.

He’s fast… Very fast.

A Busy Nightclub

8:15pm

Tokui arives on his Hydro Bike, and parks it outside the club.

“AION 8000… Not bad,” speaks a man outside the club hanging with his buddy, referring to Tokui’s bike.

Tokui goes in the club.

It’s packed with hundreds of people.

It’s dark, with multi-colored lights over the large dance floor.

He goes to the bar and orders a blue drink.

Woman are all around selling themselves, and sleazy looking dudes are selling illegal stimulants.

30 Minutes later

Tokui has had a few drinks, when two large men approach him from behind wearing black suits.

“Can I help you two gentlemen?” Tokui asks without looking at them.

“Your name Tokui Shinsou?” one of them asks, holding a picture of Tokui. But somehow Tokui looks different than the photo… Darkness fills him, and it shows.

“The name’s Adauchi,” Tokui replies.

The two men look at one another, then one of them grabs Tokui’s soldier.

“You really shouldn’t have done that…” speaks Tokui.

In three moves he knocks both men to the floor, unconscious.

The bartender looks nervous, and several bouncers surround him.

He holds up Cash-Tokens indicating there’s more drinks to be had, and the bartender signals for the bouncers to remove the two unconscious men.

DarkJade-

PICTURE CREDIT – Sad Anime Girl

Episode IV – Truth

DarkJade Publishing

DarkJade Publishing

A year ago (January, 2012 to be specific), I Self Published My Poetry Book, “Winter, Lust, And Wonder“.

This would be My First Ever Self Published Work.

I then Self Published My 8 Page Partial Comic Book, “White Jade“

Sometime after that I came Across Intuit.Com, and Created For Free

A Site which would Show My Published Work

I called the Site DarkJade Publishing, as I Self Publish My Own Books

And it seemed Appropriate to Call it DarkJade Publishing

Being ‘DarkJade’ is My Internet Pseudonym

Which I Created on This Site

And Have Been Using on Several of My Websites

I Never really Broadcasted The Site

Via Social Media, because it was more of an Experiment

Part of my Exploration into Self Publishing Etc.

But I’ve always thought it was a Cool Looking Site

And so I’ve just Added My Novella “I Died Once“

And thought I’d go ahead and Share the Site with My Readers

So Here It Is…

DarkJade Publishing

Thanks for Your Continued Support

DarkJade-

 

DarkJade Update – “Allure”, “Iliad”, “Mady’s Storm”

DarkJade Update – “Allure”, “Iliad”, “Mady’s Storm”

Hey guys, in case any of you are wondering, I haven’t just Dropped “Allure (Book Two) – Seers Of The Night“, “Iliad (Book Two) In The Planes Of Ordose Trilogy” (Book One Being “Chess With Agatha“), or “Mady’s Storm (Book Two) – In The Chronicles Of Mady Monroe” Series…

No, in fact, quite the opposite… I’ve merely been working on getting “Chess With Agatha” Edited, and Self Published, which I still hope to do in the next couple of weeks.

In fact, “Allure” Book One in My Vampire Novella Series is sitting there waiting for me to send the First Draft to my friend Beth, so she can Review, and Line Edit it… But, first I have to clean it up a bit… And I just can’t get myself to put the energy into it, with “Chess With Agatha” still not Self Published yet.

But soon I promise.

And then, and only then, will I get back to some of these Sequels… Too hard to just Pile on to the Sequels, when the First Books aren’t even out yet… “I Died Once” is of course out (Book/Novella One in The Chronicles Of Mady Monroe Series), but I need to get Book One in the Ordose Trilogy, and my Vampire Series out as well…

Meanwhile, I’m also pursuing an Agent for My Screenplay, “White Jade“. Mailed out three more Query Letters today.

Alright, back to work, just wanted to let you know those Books are still in Full Swing.

Thanks for your Continued Interest and Support, it really means a lot

DarkJade-

The Independent Mind

The Independent Mind

So I was making calls to Screenplay Literary Agents today, to find representation for My Screenplay “White Jade”… My Screenplay that I Wrote the First Draft of in 2002, then poured hundreds of hours into Re-Editing in 2003-2005.

Back in 2006 I sent out a few what are called ‘Query’ Letters, which is where you’re basically asking Agencies if they would consider Reading your Script… And if they like it, they might Represent you… And if they Represent you, they’ll start to Shop it around to Production Companies Etc.

Ok so, I didn’t start pursuing Film Making until I was 31, at which point I worked on Experimental Films… I had wanted to be a Film Director all through my 20′s, but the girl I was seeing always said she’d leave if I got into the Film Industry. Being she was my First Love, and I didn’t want to lose her, I basically didn’t pursue anything in Film.

After a while, I said “What about Writing Screenplays?”, because I figured her main concern with me being a Film Director, was running off with a Cast Member, Lol

I figured, well, Writing seems safer… But she didn’t go for that either, Lol

Anyway, we split when I was 29, almost 30, and at that point I realized I could Pursue Film Making at last… But, because I was 30, and at that point had hit a place where I really didn’t want to work for anyone anymore, I decide that I would try to Produce My Own Films as well… I didn’t have the money to full blown Produce a Film, but I figured, maybe I’ll Write Feature Film Screenplays, sell them for like 50k (If I was lucky, Lol), and use those funds to Produce my own Independent Films.

Good plan, right?

Of course, selling a Script is a whole other deal.

So I worked on Experimental Films, and I Wrote my First Draft of a Feature Film… But in late 2003 I stepped away from Film Making, but did focus on Screenplay for the next couple years none the less.

Sent out a hand full of Query Letters, with no reply… Then sat Writing down for 5 or so years

I know some of you have heard parts of this story… I then Started my Blog in 2011, and began pursuing Writing Books… But this last week or so, I picked up my Written Screenplay, and decided to more aggressively try to get a Screenplay Agent, and made a few calls last week.

Well I started making a few more calls, and got many people who said “We’re not accepting any New Writers right now”… Or, “We don’t accept unsolicited Scripts… Basically, if I’m not recommended from someone in the Film Industry, they’re not interested, Lol

Now, none of this surprises me… I know there’s a Zillion Screenplay Writers trying to break into the business… And truth be known, that aspect of the Film Industry has really, really never interested me… Not the Hard Work and Sacrifice, but rather the kind of people you end up having to deal with… Not my thing.

That said, I will plug on this week and make more calls… But man, my ‘Independent’ Mind is like ‘Woe, Woe, Woe!’… You don’t want this, do your own thing… Lol

Anyway, wish me luck, continuing against my Independent Nature, is extremely, ‘unnatural’ for me, Lol

DarkJade-

PICTURE CREDIT – Sculpture Urban Legends

My Editor Has Finished Editing “Chess With Agatha”… And, I Have A Lot Of Work To Do, Lol

My Editor Has Finished Editing “Chess With Agatha”… And, I Have A Lot Of Work To Do, Lol

Ok, so My Editor Finished Editing My 4th Draft of “Chess With Agatha”, and as I hoped she’s really cleaned up the Grammar, and some of the Sentence Structuring. I need to implement all of that, but I’m totally down with that.

The real Challenge before me will be making Story Adjustments based on some of her Comments… Now I only Skimmed over them, but this stuff is going to take a lot of thought and focus on my part. Which is to be expected, and I’m totally glad for the Insights… But it is still going to be a challenge making sure the book still captures what I want it to, but also is clearly written.

Wish me Luck

This Next Week or Two should be Challenging and Interesting preparing it for Self Publishing

DarkJade-

DarkJade - AM Trance Live Cast Starting Now!

Reblogged from Dark Xperience:

DarkJade - AM Trance Starting Now!

CLICK ME!

Doing My Friday Live AM Trance Cast for anyone that likes Trance Music... Will be switching to some other types of Music at 12pm PST, will be taking Requests DJ-