“Chess With Agatha” First Draft Review & Reply (Part 2)

“Chess With Agatha” First Draft Review & Reply (Part 2)

“Chess With Agatha” First Draft Review & Reply (Part 1)

Last Time We Covered Beth’s Review, and My Reply, for the “Prologue” and “Chapter One – The Protector” of the First Draft of My Fantasy Novel, “Chess With Agatha“.

I’ll go ahead and Continue where I left off.



Chess With Agatha” – First Draft – Review & Reply

Chapter Two – Another Life

Beth; What I like so far ~

* I’m still caught up in the mystery, and trying to figure out what’s real and what isn’t.

DarkJade Reply: “Very Cool, I’m glad to hear that”

* I’m loving the description of Agamemnon, and his character in general. He’s a character I’m going to have fun figuring out.

DarkJade Reply: “Nice… He’s definitely supposed to be ‘Dark’ and ‘Mysterious’.


Beth; What I’d like to see more on ~

* For me, I’d like to start seeing more explanation over the next few chapters. I’ve decided Agamemnon is real, but I don’t understand why he has two names yet.

DarkJade Reply: “All will be revealed in due time, Lol”


Chapter Three – Hemmingbyrd’s Dream

Beth; What I like so far ~

* I love Hemmingbyrd! I think it’s awesome that he makes up his own words.

DarkJade Reply: “Awesome”

* Because of the quote in the beginning, I’m very curious about what role Iliad will play in all of this.

“No One Loves The Fool…”

“No, Indeed Not”

“But I shall Change This…”

“It Is Within My Power to Change This”

Iliad The Fool~

DarkJade Reply: “Iliad ended up being one of My Favorite Characters… He’s Definitely Important”

* I’m curious about “the game” – is it chess, and why is it important?

DarkJade Reply: “Also Important, and will definitely be explained”


Beth; What I’d like to see more on ~

* I’d like to see a description of Morr added. I have a feeling he may be important because he’s mentioned specifically.

DarkJade Reply: “In his First appearance, I describe him as “black haired, pale skinned Morr merely stirs his dark red drink, with his dagger, and smiles in his typical menacing way…” I do believe I better describe him along the way, and he’s definitely important. I believe I was attempting to ‘ease’ him into the book. But I’ll review his descriptions carefully, and determine if I should say more about him up front.

* I’d also like to see a description of Iliad.

DarkJade Reply: “After checking out My Description of Iliad in his First Appearance, which is ““Iliad”, the King’s Fool, standing upon the great throne, dancing and singing in false gayety, in order to entertain”, I will admit, it is lacking a description of his Physical Appearance. I suspect I assumed that everyone has an Idea what a ‘Fool’ looks like… However, it’s probably best to give a ‘specific’ description of him… Part of the whole ‘Posting it right from my head, onto a Post’, is that I sometimes end up being a bit ‘vague’ from time to time. As I suspected, I’m liable to have much ‘fleshing’ out to do with This Book, which is fine by me… It will just take some time. I appreciate the insight.


That’s all for now

Thanks for Reading



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