How To Re-Parent Your Broken Inner Child

sad-child

(The Title Of This Post Comes From An Article I Was Just Reading, Which You Can Find HERE)

It wasn’t until this year, at age 48, that I finally began to consciously feel the fact that my dad left when I was two-ish

More than that, my parents got back together a couple years later and tried again to no avail

At the time he left the second time, I was glad

I remember thinking that they weren’t a good match

Growing up with a single mom was a powerful, amazing thing

Sure, it wasn’t perfect… Mainly because there were times when my brother and I were home alone

But she really loved us, and showed it

But now at 48, a few months after losing my Third Uncle out of Four

I find myself running out of Father-ish figures in my life

My last post was about Leonard Nimoy who I really admired

When he passed, I do believe I lost one of the Men I looked up to/admired to in my life

And it affected me a lot

But after losing this Third Uncle, who I really didn’t see very much during my life

But got along well with, and always kinda knew he was out there

I’ve hit a point that I think I have some healing to do in this area

Growing up without my Dad around, I always felt I adapted, as humans can do to a degree, and thus didn’t really need one

My mom has been with her Boyfriend for the last 39 years

And he and I are very close

But she told him, and any men she dated right from the start, not to parent us

And so, though I admire her boyfriend very much

He generally never Fathered me

On a Creative and Spiritual Level during the last 15 years, I’ve had a lot of growth

But in other ways, I’ve had some difficult things I’ve been dealing with

Namely some Anxiety issues

And though I had some serious breakthroughs last year

By the end of October last year, I found myself having to deal with them more again

Mainly, I suspect, due to several very stressful situations that were going on

Including losing my Uncle

I’ve been giving myself time to Heal…

And I have Healed greatly

But, like I say, just during this first part of the year I’ve come to realize more and more how much not having an emotional available father in my life is

I have had my Dad in my life my whole life…

But it’s a certain kind of relationship

One where we love, and like one another

But also one where I don’t feel he really knows me all that well

And now he’s 77, and I really don’t feel there’s any point in trying to convey this to him

He’s battling with being older I feel

And is doing the best he can

I used to call him every week or two, just to keep in touch

But that has become harder recently

Anyway…

The pain I’ve been feeling is very real in regards to all of this

And I am doing the best I can to cope, heal, and grow

Thanks for Reading/Listening

Hopefully some of you out there can relate

PICTURE CREDIT – Inner Child

DarkJade-

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One Response to “How To Re-Parent Your Broken Inner Child”

  1. A sad and unfortunately an all too common problem.

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