Archive for the Allure Category

The Mady Chronicles

Posted in Allure, Amazon, Chess With Agatha, Fantasy Novel, Film, I Died Once, Legends Productions, Mady's Storm, Web Series, White Jade, Writing on June 20, 2016 by darkjade68

mady's chronicles

Believe it or nor, I am a Writer, though much of what you’ve seen posted lately on my

“The Written Word” Blog has been about my upcoming Web Series, “White Jade”

In 2011 I created this Blog as a ‘Creative Writing Stream Of Consciousness’, so to speak

And in 2012 I Self Published my First Book, which was a Short Book of Poetry, followed by my First Novella, which was “I Died Once”

“Winter, Lust And Wonder” (Poetry Book) @ Amazon

“I Died Once” @ Amazon

“I Died Once” was a story that just came to me chapter after chapter in the winter of 2011, and to my surprise, had some positive reviews.


I’m Blown Away… Figuratively, by Something Literary

Kymlee’s Review

Terri Wachala

When I say to my surprise, what I mean is, I thought there would be some that liked it, some that didn’t… But for the most part, even people who weren’t really into this genre of story seemed to get something out of it.

As a writer, I was enthralled.

Later that year I gave away thousands of Free Digital Copies of it, just to get people familiar with my writing a bit.

On Amazon I got 4 Good Reviews, and 1 not good one, which to me, was better than I expected Amazon Reviews

Mady Cover

One thing I knew right away about ‘Mady’, was there was more to tell than just the first Novella, in which she was just 15 years old.

And so come the winter of 2012, I was at it again, and wrote the first draft of the follow up Novella, “Mady’s Storm”.

“Mady’s Storm” takes place 8 years later, and I won’t say any more than that, as I don’t want to give anything away about the original Novella, nor the followup one.

A Font with Serifs

Also during that time, as well as the spring of 2013, I wrote my first Fantasy Novel, “Chess With Agatha”.

Before touching “Mady’s Storm” again, I hired an Editor for “Chess With Agatha”, but found myself still wanting more than what was the finished product.

That’s when I brought on a second Writer & Editor, and she began helping me realize “Chess With Agatha’s” true potential…

But it became quickly apparent, that it was going to take a very long time for us to finish this revised version of “Chess With Agatha”, and so we sat it down.

Mady Cover2

In 2015 I finally found a moment to pick “Mady’s Storm” back up, and had my “Chess With Agatha” Co-Writer/Editor do a quick Edit of it.

In December 2015 I finally Self Published “Mady’s Storm”, after a long ‘Mady’ hiatus.

Mady’s Storm @ Amazon


In addition to the ‘Mady Chronicles’ (The First Two Novellas, plus future novellas), the “Chess With Agatha” Trilogy (Part of the second book is written as well), I also wrote two Vampire Novellas from what is called the ‘Allure’ Series.

The truth is, I have a lot of work to do as a Writer should I hope to make these series of books a reality… And though I’m currently working on my “White Jade” Web Series (Which I wrote as well), there is a part of me that longs to get back to my Books.

Nuff said,

Thanks for listening/reading



Follow Me On Twitter @







Or The Legends Productions Blog

Allure (Book Two) Seers Of The Night – Chapter VII

Posted in Allure, Allure Book Two, Novella, Story, Writing on May 13, 2016 by darkjade68

In September Of 2012, I Began Writing And Posting The First Draft Of My Second “Allure” Novella, “Seers Of The Night”. 

I Then Stepped Away From Writing For A While, But Find Myself Drawn Back Again.

Here Are The First 6 Chapters Of This Second “Allure” Novella, Which Is As Far As I Got.*

*keep in mind none of this is Edited

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6


And Now The Continuation Of “Seers Of The Night”

la fon


“Seers Of The Night”

by dArKjAdE

CHAPTER VII – In Walks Aram






Vincent stands near Nolan Prosk’s desk who sits behind it, lighting a cigarette.

La Fon begins to speak.

“I’m not here to stop you Prosk… But it’s important that the Vampire Clans know, that I do not agree with what’s about to happen in the streets.”

Nolan smiles a bit, then looks at Vincent who has not completely integrated the fact that La Fon is standing there… Memories of the two of them hunting for blood in the old country flashing through his head.

“And what am I supposed to do… Shoot them out a memo?” Prosk says sneeredly.

La Fon does not flinch… He doesn’t move a muscle.

With this, Prosk remembers himself, and stands,”Forgive me La Fon… Perhaps I’ve spent too much time around the humans… What would you have me do?”

La Fon steps closer, leaning his fists against the top of Prosk’s desk.

“Send them a memo (With this, Vincent smiles to himself)… Tell them that La Fon has come to you, that he does not believe he is truly meant to lead the clans into a battle against the humans… That it is you that feels this Myth of Cave Drawings be true… That it is you that intends to follow the prophecy at your own accord. I want nothing to do with it… Will you do this for me Prosk.”

Prosk ponders the request for a moment… “Very well…” and extends his hand to La Fon, who turns and begins to walk away… But then stops, and looks at Vincent.

Vincent stares at La Fon, his eyes beginning to glow, “The girl…” he semi growls.


Aram and Roy, both dressed completely in black, Roy’s hair now dyed black as well, enter the club side by side.

Aram immediately takes note of all the Vampire bodyguards staggered along the left and right wall…

Roy takes note of where she is looking.

She then begins to enter the club’s dance floor, and indicates with a wave of her hand for Roy to guard the front door…

Roy whose come into the club with two sawed off shot guns on his back.

Where Aram bares her large auto crossbow, and two silver samurai swords at her side.

Suddenly La Fon enters the main part of the club, his eyes glowing red, he can’t help but smile menacingly in Aram’s direction.

Aram stops and stares at him.

Roy, in shock, speaks in inadvertently, “Good lord… It’s La Fon.”

In a moment La Fon appears standing directly in front of Aram.

“Hello Aram,” with this he reaches for her hand to kiss it, but she already has a sword at his throat.

People on the dance floor spread apart, but do not try to leave out of fascination… “Is this real?” they think.

Just then Prosk appears through backroom doorway, Vincent at his side, and simply watches… Not really caring either way.

Philip appears at Prosk’s side, “Should we kill them?”

Prosk simply shakes his head indicating no.

“Come now…” La Fon speaks as he suddenly appears behind her, “…it’s been a long time.”

She loses her breath, but not because she is scared… She is not scared.

The music changes, and he starts to dance with her… But first he puts her sword back in its’ sheath.

She is captivated by this… The power he seems to have over her is immeasurable… But not the typical Vampiric power he might have over others… No… This power reaches into her heart.

Roy looks very uneasy by all of this…

Suddenly three large bearded men step into the club behind Roy, his body stiffens immediately…

They stand off to the side of him, their hair an unusual mix of silver and blond… They look different, and yet similar.

The leader of the three watches La Fon and the girl with a sneer… Then suddenly looks slowly over at Roy who is staring directly at him…

The leader’s eyes appear to be silver but go purple for a moment.

“Lycanthropes (Werewolves)…” speaks Roy without thinking.

Meanwhile the dancing continues, and Aram is lost in it…

Prosk seeing the Lycanthropes enter nods at the leader, and the three of them head towards the back of the club… Vincent, Prosk, Philip and the three Lycanthropes disappear into the backroom.

Suddenly Aram awakes from her trance, and takes several steps back towards the entrance… Roy steps forward and grabs her shoulder, “Are you alright?” he asks…

“Yeah… I’m ok…” they look back to the dance floor and La Fon is gone.

Suddenly Philip appears from the backroom and motions for the Vampiric Bodyguards to seize Roy and Aram…

“Lets get out of here…” Aram speaks, and the two of them step out of the club.

Outside is waiting a black sports car, its’ passenger door open, and La Fon is in the drivers seat.

He waves for Roy and Aram to get in…

For some reason Aram feels it’s ok, and the two of them get in, Aram sitting on Roy’s lap, as it is a two seater vehicle…

Just as the Vampire Bodyguards exit the club to find Roy and Aram, La Fon takes off…



There is an eerie, awkward silence within the car, as La Fon, an Ancient Vampire, Aram, a Vampire Slayer, and Roy a Werewolf Hunter don’t seem to have all that much to speak about…

Or do they…

“There were Werewolves in that club,” Roy suddenly says.

“Yes… The Blueboun Pack… Scout is their leader,” La Fon replies.

“Werewolves? Here?? In New York?” Aram seems totally surprised, beyond the fact that they’re talking about Werewolves.

“Werewolves generally steer clear of cities… But yes,” replies La Fon once more.

“Lucky they didn’t know who you were,” La Fon speaks to Roy.

“True that…” Roy replies.

“I’d completely forgotten that you hunt Lycanthropes…” speaks Aram.

“Yes… Well… Your Uncle has kept me quite busy trying to hunt down… Er,” Roy pauses as he looks over at La Fon.

“Me? I’m complimented… Too bad you’ve spent the last two years of your life in New York for that, as tonight is the first time I’ve ever been here.”

Roy looks put out…

“What’s happening La Fon? Why are there Lycanthropes meeting with Vampires?” Aram interjects.

“Ah, now that’s the question now isn’t it… But I feel we should wait for me to answer, until we’re in the company of your Uncle… No point in repeating myself,” he says with a smile, as the car tears down the road.







Posted in Allure, Chess With Agatha, Fantasy Novel, I Died Once, Kickstarter, Mady's Storm, Poetry, Writing with tags on March 2, 2015 by darkjade68


I’m at an interesting point with writing right now

A bit of my writing history, for those of you that haven’t followed my blog since 2011 when I created it



First of all, my first dream was to be a Professional Baseball Player

A Pitcher to be more specific

I’ve mentioned this along the way

Gave that up because I lived with a single mom, in the middle of a remote canyon

And it just would have been tough to pull off


Then in 1977 I saw the Original Star Wars at the age of 8

And I wanted to be a Filmmaker from then on

A Director to be specific

Now at some point between the age of 11 and 13


I actually started to write a book called

One Knight

(Which I actually started again from scratch in 2011/2012)

And when I showed it to my dad (Who I didn’t live with, but was visiting) he told me I was a Writer

screenplayNow in say, 1995-96, being the person I was with told me they would leave me if I pursued Film Making

I suggested that I instead pursue Screenplay Writing

They would not agree to this either

Fortunately this relationship ended in 1998

And in 1999, I finally attempted to pursue Film Making

“The Realm” (2000)

Now this mainly began with some experimental stuff, like the footage above

Which was basically my brother and I and Action Figures

No Editing

Just rolling the camera with an Effect on that changed the way everything looked

And also helped to hide our hands, Lol

And the music is the Soundtrack from “Conan”

Being played out of a Music Box sitting near by

The reason the music sounds so good is that the Video Camera

Which I believe was a Sony…..

Had a very good Microphone built into it

“If Not Now…” (2002)

And then two years later, My First Short Film, “If Not Now…”

Now with this, there was Editing

But, I filmed it in an hour and a half due to my brothers’ time constraints

So some of it was kind of rough, because there weren’t enough takes to choose from

None the less, I got it into Film and Video Festival in New York

Which changed my life

Even so, after my Dad watched it with me (I invited him to go to New York with me)

He still continued to refer to me as a Writer

At the time, that kind of bothered me

Because I was a Filmmaker

But reflecting, I think there are two reasons for this

I do believe my Dad is actually an unrealized Writer

And thus that is his focus

And, I am in fact a Writer


In 2002, I also wrote my First Draft of my Screenplay “White Jade”

And a Play called “Stranger In The Dark”

And in 2003, I stepped away from Film Making

And began writing Screenplays

White Jade Cover Book 1(2006)

And in 2006, hired an Artist to convert the first few pages of “White Jade” into a Comic Book

written word(2011-Present)

But it wasn’t until 2011 that I finally decided to give Writing 100% of my focus

With the Creation of “The Written Word” Blog

Where you are now

And for a year and a half, I Wrote like crazy

Blog Series

Dark Rider – Season 1 (2011); The Dark Rider had set out that day to End His Own Life… But he did Not Succeed. Now with only the Company of a Mysterious White Owl, and an Elven Mercenary by the name of Largoth, he seeks out some Deeper Truth… In this First Season of Dark Rider.

Part One – Dark Rider

Part Two – Dark Rider – Return To Bas’adia

Part Three – Dark Rider – Dragon’s Claw Tavern

Part Four – Dark Rider – Corwick’s Wish

Part Five – Dark Rider – Ambush At Fallen Wood

Part Six – Dark Rider – Shores of Evalon

Part Seven – Dark Rider – Scarlet Bandit

Part Eight – Dark Rider – Enter the Drow (Dark Elves)

Part Nine – Dark Rider – Nownyhall

Part X – Dark Rider – Breached Alliance

Part XI – Dark Rider – Hunted

Part XII – Dark Rider – Certain Death

Part XIII – Dark Rider – Rumble at the Village of Mond

Part XIV – Dark Rider – Moving On… Rodomor

Part XV – Dark Rider – Heroes Calling

Part XVI – Dark Rider – Winter Come

Part XVII – Dark Rider – The Northern Realms

Part XVIII – Dark Rider – Fool of Thy Self

Part XIX – Dark Rider – Feeling The Heat

Part XX – Dark Rider – They Struck at Dawn

Part XXI – Dark Rider – Man Down

Dark Rider – Season 2 (2012); The Dark Rider has received a Near Fatal Blow at the Hand of Prouhl, The Dark Warrior of Heen… Will he survive… And if he does, will it be in time to Save His Friends!

Part One – Champion of Wogtay

Part Two – Seasons Change

Tales of The Dark Rider; It’s been two years since the defeat of Lord Embul, at the walls of the Kingdom of Wogtay…

The Dark Rider and his comrades have parted, and each gone their own way… But an enemy of The Dark Rider, has not forgotten him…

PHOTO CREDIT – Dark Assassin

Part One – The Captive

Part Two – Blood Shall Fall

Part Three – Kin

Part Four – It Ends Here

Part Five – Back Into The Dark

Part Six – Vengeance Rising

Part 7 – Dark Intent

Part 8 – Wounded Heart

Part 9 – Retribution

Part X – Head In A Box

Whisper Moon

26 Years of Mental Preparation… But For What… I think I’m About to Find Out

Episode I – In The Dark

Episode II – Flashback

Episode III – Sleep Now

Episode IV – The 27th Year

Episode V – A Man’s Castle? Is His Castle

Episode VI – Sanctuary

Episode VII – Back In Black

Episode VIII – Drug Lord

Episode IX – Decisions

Episode X – The Black Dragon

Episode XI – Snuffed Out

Episode XII – Quiet Times

Episode XIII – Calm Before The Storm

Episode XIV – Loyalty

Episode XV – One Step Back

Episode XVI – Changes

Episode XVII – Debt

Episode XVII – Oh No You Didn’t

The Mind Chronicles – Season 2;

The Mind has begun Taking Down the Mutant Population on his own, with the Humanitarians Close on his Heels… And the World Police Legions are doing their best to Change His Mind… Yeah Right, like that’s going to happen.

The Mind Chronicles – Season 2 – Volume One – Feed Thy Enemies

The Mind Chronicles – Season 2 – Volume Two – The 4th Breed

The Mind Chronicles – Season 2 – Volume Three – Exile (Part 1)

The Mind Chronicles – Season 2 – Volume Four – Exile (Part 2)

The Mind Chronicles – Season 2 – Volume Five – Mutant Siege

The Mind Chronicles – Season 2 – Volume Six – Population Decrease

The Mind Chronicles – Season 1;

The Year is 2075… There are but some 200,000 People left alive on Post Apocalyptic Earth, after the “Great Collision” of 2039…

And some 500,000 or more Mutants…

A Mysterious Man known only as “The Mind” has arrived in a Mechanical Machine, in a Flash of Light…

No one knows from where he’s come… But the real question is, From “When” He’s Come…

In Season One of The Mind Chronicles.

The Mind – Prologue

The Mind Chronicles – Volume One – The Mercenary

The Mind Chronicles – Volume Two – Nothing Stays The Same

The Mind Chronicles – Volume ThreeOld Blue Eyes

The Mind Chronicles – Volume FourRun

The Mind Chronicles – Volume FiveThe Greater Need

The Mind Chronicles – Volume SixFarahi

The Mind Chronicles – Volume Seven – Visitors

The Mind Chronicles – Volume Eight – Chillen With The Mind

The Mind Chronicles – Volume Nine – Onset

The Mind Chronicles – Volume Ten – Target Practice

PICTURE CREDITFantasy Blue Eye Glow



ill Conceived – (Nov-Dec, 2013)

Lights – (Nov-Dec, 2013)

Hope – Volume Thirteen (May-Nov, 2013)

Nine – Volume Twelve (March-April, 2013)

Beyond Truth – Volume Eleven (January-February, 2013)


Breathe Deep – Volume Ten (November-December, 2012)

Tranquil Light – Volume Nine (September-November, 2012)

Darkness – Volume Eight (July-September, 2012)

Bereavement – Volume Seven (June-July, 2012)

ShadowsVolume Six (May-June, 2012)

Taken Heart – Volume Five (March-May, 2012)

Tales of Old – Volume Four (March-Present, 2012)

Rain Shall Shine (Capture the Night) – Volume Three (Jan-March, 2012)


Winter, Lust, And Wonder – Volume One (Sep-Oct, 2011)

Dream Shift – Volume Two (Oct-Dec, 2011)

idoAnd My Novella, “I Died Once

(Self-Published 2012)

A Font with SerifsFantasy Novel “Chess With Agatha”

(Written 2011-2012 Currently Being Rewritten)

vj-g-31 2And Vampire Novella “Allure”

(Written In 2012, Currently Awaiting Editing)

Mady's Storm2And Current Kickstarter Novella “Mady’s Storm”

(Written At The End Of 2012, And Awaiting Editing)


Some of you may know some of what I showed, and some may not

But I am in a very interesting spot right now

Determining What’s Next For Me

I Want To Edit And Self Publish My Written Books

But What’s Next?

Do I Focus On Material That I’ve Already Written

Like Marketing My Screenplay “White Jade”

Or Do I Work On Whole New Projects?

I Know That I Am Happy With What I’ve Written So Far

And Though I Had To Step Away From Film Making

I Am Happy With My Short Film “If Not Now…”

This Year Feels Very Different For Me

And I Don’t Have A Definite Answer

But Hopefully All Of You Will Continue

To Join Me On My Journey



“I Died Once” Book Trailer August, 2012

“White Jade” (Part 1) Comic Book Video October, 2012

“White Jade” (Part 2) Comic Book Video October, 2012

“Chess With Agatha” Book Trailer November, 2012

“Captain Fire 197” Blog Series Promo Video March, 2014

18 Months In… I’m No Jedi Yet

Posted in Allure, Amazon, Chess With Agatha, Fantasy Novel, Fiction, I Died Once, Self Publishing, Writing on August 1, 2013 by darkjade68

emo_boy_by_chihiro3918 Months In… I’m No Jedi Yet

Ok, so I’ve actually been pursuing Writing as a Career for 23 Months… But I’ve basically been in Low Gear during the last 4 Months, and 18 just sounds better than 19, Lol

The Writer

Posted in Writers, Writing with tags , , , , , , on August 18, 2011 by darkjade68

Inside of all of us is The Writer… I’ve been writing since I was young, but I have never truly given my Writer a home… It is my intention to finally and truly embrace my Writer, I intend to do this by Writing, Writing, Writing…

But to do this, I must first create the space for it… Where will I write… What music will I listen to… Who will I share my writing with while I develop it… Time will tell

Yup, that was My Very First Post…

789 Posts Later, I’ve been Very, Very Busy

Even with my recent semi-hiatus

DarkJade - Cover (BlackandPurple) - Winter Lust and WonderPoetry;

After doing Several Posts that kinda sorta supplied the Readers with some Random/Kinda get to know me Posts, September hit, and I Posted My First Poem, “Intrepid“.

Which Lead to me Self Publishing My First Ever Poetry Book, “Winter, Lust, And Wonder“, in January, 2012. Followed by 12 Additional Poetry Books Worth of Poems, which I have yet to Self Publish.

Self Publishing;

In a Nutshell, anyone can do it.

I had no interest in pursuing Publishers, though I will perhaps at some point Submit some of My Self Published Work to some…

But for the time being, I want my Books out there, and I like the Control I have in regards to Self Publishing


After some research, I ended up going with a Company Called CreateSpace

Great Product, Easy Setup, and Phenomenal Customer Service

Once you figure out how to Format Your Cover, and Inside Pages, you’ve pretty much got it made… Print away

The reason I say they have Phenomenal Customer Service is, on occasion a book will show up bent etc., and they will send out replacements immediately

Not only that, but getting someone on the phone is a breeze… You literally go to the Customer Service Section, and Request that they call you immediately, enter your Phone Number, and they call you that moment… You may start out on Hold at first, but I’ve never been on longer than a couple minutes before someone comes on.


I do believe CreateSpace is a subsidiary of Amazon.Com, which would explain why your book gets Put on their Site when you Publish it… In addition to a Website which is created specifically for each title.

You get more Profits when someone buys off your Custom Site, but you still make some profits when they buy it off Amazon.Com as well


I approached a Local Bookstore who likes to work with Local Writers, and asked if they’d carry my Poetry Book, “Winter, Lust, And Wonder”, and she said yes (It’s a Consignment Kind of Thing, where I supply the Stock, and if they sell, we each get Profits)

Hooded Fighter 2Blog Series;

Something else that I did was Write what I called, Blog Series

I had a lot of fun with that, and am actually turning one of them into a Series of Novellas… That one’s is called “Allure

In addition to “Allure”, here are a list of some others;

Dark Rider – Sword & Sorcery Fantasy Series

Captain Fire 197 – Young Mercenaries/Sci-Fi Series

The Mind – Post Apocalyptic Tale

Additional Blog Series

I Died Once CoverI Died Once (Novella);

In August/September 2012, I Self Published my First Novella “I Died Once“, which I had written at the end of 2011, right within this Blog

This Book is also being carried at my Local Bookstore






A Font with SerifsChess With Agatha (Fantasy Novel);

From January-June, 2012 I Wrote My Fantasy Novel “Chess With Agatha“, which I then put on hold until February, 2012, where I had it Edited

I’m now doing some Additional Editing, as well as working with another Writer who is doing some Wordsmithing for me, which is a New Experience… But a good one



cwa bookmarkCWA Marketing Effort;

As a way to stir up interest in my Up Coming Fantasy Novel, as well as interest in my Writing in General… I thought I might offer to give away some Samples of My Novella, “I Died Once”, at the Local Bookstore

The Manager there wasn’t only receptive, but also suggested that I Create Custom Bookmarks which would Market My Up Coming Fantasy Novel, and Include them with the Samples…


I then contacted the person who helps me with my Book Cover Designs, and asked her if she could Create these Book Marks… That’s them up to the Left

Soon she’ll be shipping them out to me, and I will give the Bookstore 15 Free Copies of “I Died Once”, along with 15 Bookmarks which will accompany them

These will be given out to specific Store Patrons… Most likely ones that make a Purchase of $25 or so


That Is All…

On With The Battle

Thanks For Your Interest & Support






Allure Chapters 7-9 Review And Reply

Posted in Allure, Review And Reply on July 3, 2013 by darkjade68

thumbnail.aspxAllure Chapters 7-9 Review And Reply

Onward we go.

Beth’s Review, and My Replies, to Chapters 7-9 of the First Draft of the first of my upcoming Vampire Novella Series, “Allure”.

Here’s the Previous Reviews and Replies in case you missed them;

Allure Chapters 1-3 Review And Reply

Allure Chapters 4-6 Review And Reply



by DarkJade

Chapter Seven – Guest With No Breath

~ What I Like So Far:

Beth – * I’m glad Roy is back in the picture in this chapter.🙂

DarkJade – “Roy’s not going anywhere, Lol He’s a natural born hunter, and he is relentless.”

Beth – * I also really like the action in this chapter.

DarkJade – “It’s one of my Favorite Chapters, and Scenes. Was kind of hoping to spook the readers a bit in this chapter. The quiet, prior to the action, yah know.”


~ What I’d Like To See More On:

Beth – * Be careful of changing tenses from present to past, then back to present.

DarkJade – “Ah yes, I’m really loose with that with my First Drafts… It will be fixed before Self Publishing.”

Beth – * Also be careful with your use of ‘speaks’ instead of ‘says.’ ‘Says’ and ‘said’ are used so often in writing that they become almost invisible, which gives emphasis to any other words you choose to use to describe a character’s voice or tone – speak, shout, scream, whine, mumble, growl, etc. If other words are used too often, it can change or slow down the flow, which could make the reader pause.

DarkJade – “Thanks for that, I’ll check it out.”


Chapter Eight – Wolf, Man… Vampire

~ What I Like So Far:

Beth – * I like the action in this chapter as well.

DarkJade – “Ah, yeah, good exit sequence.”

* Yaaaay! I’m glad they’re all working together now.🙂

DarkJade – “Yup, Arram just needs to grow up a bit, which she does quick. Roy’s a serious asset.”


~ What I’d Like To See More On:

Beth – * If you want to, you could expand on your vampire lore here, or maybe a little later. It’s cool and different that your vampires can summon zombies – which is a great lead into how your vampires may be a little different than other writer’s versions.🙂

DarkJade – “I’ll have to check that out… I do like to bring info. in slowly, but in all honesty, this story hasn’t been fully fleshed out yet… So, I’ll have to be mindful of this.”


Chapter Nine – The Escape

~ What I Like So Far:

Beth – * Lol, I totally agree with Seth!😄 I want to see La Fon and his love happy. Very good job getting me caught up in this.

DarkJade – “Lol… I’m with Seth as well, Lol. And thank you.”


~ What I’d Like To See More On:

Beth – * Be careful of changing POV here – going from third person (an unknown narrator – he, she, they) to first person (the character narrating – I, we). Showing the character’s thoughts in italics is good, but be careful not to switch to the character narrating if your story is in third person.

DarkJade – “Thanks… Yeah, I’ll be all over that once I work with an Editor.”


Allure Chapters 4-6 Review And Reply

Posted in Allure, Fiction, Novella, Writing on June 28, 2013 by darkjade68

Ultimates_2_Vol_1_5_Textless“Allure” Chapters 4-6 Review And Reply

My friend Beth, who Reviews my First Draft Work, as well as doing some Line Editing, is currently working on my First Novella from my “Allure” Vampire Series.

After she sends me Reviews, I do what I call “Review And Reply” Posts, where I Post some of her Comments, and Reply to them.

Last month she sent me her Review and Line Editing for Chapters 1-3, which can be seen here – Allure Chapters 1-3 Review And Reply

She just sent me Chapters 4-6, and so I shall Post her Comments, and Reply to them.



by DarkJade

Chapter Four – The Night Will Come

~ What I Like So Far:

Beth – * I still like that I’m reading parts of her mother’s book at the same time. It gives added depth.

DarkJade – “Awesome.”

Beth – * I’m happy to see Roy Millon! I remember really liking this character, lol.🙂

DarkJade – “I really like him as well. He’s meant to be a bit ‘Barbaric’ (Not dumb, just primal), which gives him a simplicity that I feel lends to the Story.”


~ What I’d Like To See More On:

Beth – * Maybe work on smoothing out your transitions when going back and forward in time, just to keep the flow going. It didn’t distract me for long, but moving through time twice in this chapter changed the flow a little bit. Or, you could switch out where you say ‘the next day’ or ‘earlier that day’ and write out a longer transition. It would take a little longer, but it may smooth it out a little more.

DarkJade – “I’ll check it out, my First Drafts are definitely rough drafts, so I’m sure it needs some work.”


Chapter Five – Tall… Light… And Armed

~ What I Like So Far:

Beth – * Lol, I like Arram’s interaction with Roy. She has a different dynamic with him than she does with Seth.

DarkJade – “Much different. Seth is definitely caught up in being a teenager, where as Roy is a man, and Arram’s 16 so men are both confusing, and potentially provocative to a young girl.” (Not that I’ve ever been a teenage girl, Lol But theoretically speaking.)

Beth – * And I’m caught up in La Fon’s romance.

DarkJade – “I’m glad, it’s definitely supposed to deeply pull the reader in, and lay the stage for the past, and the present to merge at some point.”


~ What I’d Like To See More On:

Beth – * I’m curious about why Arram was so mesmerized by the water in the glass, and then the clear glass door? Maybe give a little more on what she was thinking when she was so distracted?

DarkLight – “If I recall correctly, at this point Arram is beginning to be ‘Affected’ by the sheer overwhelming magnitude of the situation. As a sort of ‘Defense Mechanism’, her mind is starting to shift focus subconsciously onto the water (Water has a very ‘Methodic’, ‘Peaceful’ quality), and glass (Because it is shiny etc., and gives her mind a momentary distraction,) , and to a degree fall into a bit of a trance. I’ll take a look at it and maybe be a bit more explanatory.”

* I’m also curious about why La Fon was thinking of jumping off the cliff? Was it to spare the woman he loved from becoming like him?

DarkJade – “I’ll have to reflect on that a bit, wrote it so long ago… But I do believe it’s to spare her the life of being in love with him… I suspect he considers himself cursed. He does not intend to turn her.”


Chapter Six – Cold Night

~ What I Like So Far:

Beth – * Lol – the best part ever: ‘She jumps in front of it, in a Judo position. “YAH!” … There’s no one there… And, she doesn’t know Judo.’😀

DarkJade – “Ha… Ah yes… The things we do when we’re alone, and scared. The things we do that would absolutely have no benefit in regards to aiding us should something arise that is, Lol.”


~ What I’d Like To See More On:

Beth – * At this point in the story I’m curious about why Roy wants to help Arram and Seth, and also about why they’re so opposed to the idea of working together? Maybe because this is more personal for Arram? Maybe start giving little hints about her motivation once she starts talking to Roy? Or maybe, if you don’t want to reveal it until later, start hinting that she has a personal reason for not wanting Roy’s help?

DarkJade – “Roy is also hunting La Fon, and feels that she and Seth are going to get themselves killed doing it alone. I will also need to reflect on this as well, I do believe that is the main reason. At this point I don’t think he realizes what an asset Arram is in regards to tracking vampires. Seth wants Roy’s help, Arram doesn’t. Mainly because she’s 16, very independent and strangely finds herself attracted to Roy, which makes her uncomfortable. She’s just being stubborn, Lol.”


Thanks for Reading

I was hoping to Self Publish The First “Allure” Novella sometime close to August, but due to “Chess With Agatha” being pushed out a bit, “Allure” will likely be Self Published in the Fall or so.



Allure Chapters 1-3 Review And Reply

Posted in Allure, Novella, Review And Reply on May 29, 2013 by darkjade68

Vampire 3“Allure” Chapters 1-3 Review And Reply

Though “Chess With Agatha” is still on hold, my good friend Beth has begun Reviewing and Line Editing Book One of the first draft of my My Vampire Novella Series, “Allure”.

Some of you may have been following me when I Posted My Review and Replies of “Chess With Agatha”… If not, I’ve put the Links to them below.

“Chess With Agatha” First Draft Review & Reply – Part 1

“Chess With Agatha” First Draft Review & Reply – Part 2

“Chess With Agatha” First Draft Review & Reply – Part 3

Basically Beth tells me what she likes, and what she would like to see more of in my Stories First Drafts.

I’m hoping the First Novella of the “Allure” Series will be Self Published sometime after August this year.

So without further ado, the First of the Review and Replies from “Allure”.



by DarkJade-


Chapter One – Daisy Arram

~ What I Like So Far:

Beth – * I love vampires, so I’m really enjoying this story.🙂

DarkJade – “I’ve always Loved Vampires, but have never written a story designated to them. Though there is a Vampire in my Fantasy Novel “Chess With Agatha”, he is not the main character in the piece.”

Beth – * I also really like the excerpt of the other story at the start of the chapter. I remember from reading this the first time through that it gives a lot of insight into what happened with her mother. A very nice touch.

DarkJade – “Thank you. I’m glad that you like it… I think that it adds some depth to the whole thing, especially since the story itself was originally written as a Blog Series, and thus there is a kind of Serial Liteness to it… I feel the extra depth from the Excerpts will help it translate better into a Novella.”


~ What I’d Like To See More On:

Beth – * Maybe describe a little of what this man she’s following did? You don’t have to go into gory detail about the massacre, but at this point the reader doesn’t know he’s a vampire (lol, I do just because I’ve read it already), so you can mislead the reader a little bit. Get their mind thinking towards serial killer, so they’ll be more surprised when they realize he’s a vampire. You can describe through their reaction – showing their disgust/fear/horror/etc.

DarkJade – “I will consider that when I go to do the 2nd Draft.”


Chapter Two – No Invitation Needed

~ What I Like So Far:

Beth – * You have an impressive vampire villain.🙂

DarkJade- “Thank you, I really like him.”

Beth – * I like that Arram is so determined and tough. I love strong female leads.

DarkJade – “I like strong Female Leads as well.”


~ What I’d Like To See More On:

Beth * Maybe mention as she’s heading into the house why she would take someone to back her up who’s so scared, and doesn’t seem to want to be there? Maybe mention that she knows underneath it all she can always rely on him to come through for her, or that they’ve been friends forever and he’s always been someone she could depend on. Or maybe he has his own reasons for wanting to go after this guy, despite his obvious fear? Why does he want to be there? Just to protect her? What are his motives for helping, especially since he’s so scared?

DarkJade – “I’ll check that out as well.”


Chapter Three – Uncle Tom

~ What I Like So Far:

Beth * I’m liking the dynamic between Arram and Seth. She’s kinda the tough leader, and he’s the quirky sidekick.🙂

 DarkJade – “I like it as well.”

~ What I’d Like To See More On:

Beth * Maybe have Arram and Seth consider why the vampire didn’t kill him? The vampire had him, and Arram couldn’t have stopped him at that point, so why did he spare Seth? Is this some part of his humanity shining through? Part of what Arram’s mom loved about him? This may be a good thing to bring up later – especially if this vampire is somehow redeemable? At this point in the story, he seems like the villain, but I remember that as I get further into the story it doesn’t always feel like that’s the case. This could be a very good hook here if you give it a little more emphasis.🙂 I’ll make sure to point out in later chapters where I start feeling like he may not be the main villain.

DarkJade – “There are definitely reasons why he didn’t kill Seth, beyond what Arram’s mom loved in him… But that is also there as well. I’ll check this out as well.”


I hope this was enjoyable for all of you… As Beth supplies me with more Chapter Reviews, I’ll continue to post more Reviews and Replies.

Thanks for your support.



Published Works

I Died Once – Novella;
(Published August/September, 2012)

Available From CreateSpace, & As An Ebook for Kinde & PC



“I Died Once” @ CreateSpace

“I Died Once” @

Kindle & PC


“I Died Once” (Kindle & PC)

If You Don’t Have A Kindle Don’t Threat There’s Free PC And Other Reading Apps Here Free Kindle


Winter, Lust, And Wonder (Black Cover, Purple Font Edition); (Published March, 2012)



Black Cover Edition;

Black Cover Amazon Edition