Archive for the Family Category

How To Re-Parent Your Broken Inner Child

Posted in Family, Life, Psychology, Writing with tags , on January 15, 2017 by darkjade68

sad-child

(The Title Of This Post Comes From An Article I Was Just Reading, Which You Can Find HERE)

It wasn’t until this year, at age 48, that I finally began to consciously feel the fact that my dad left when I was two-ish

More than that, my parents got back together a couple years later and tried again to no avail

At the time he left the second time, I was glad

I remember thinking that they weren’t a good match

Growing up with a single mom was a powerful, amazing thing

Sure, it wasn’t perfect… Mainly because there were times when my brother and I were home alone

But she really loved us, and showed it

But now at 48, a few months after losing my Third Uncle out of Four

I find myself running out of Father-ish figures in my life

My last post was about Leonard Nimoy who I really admired

When he passed, I do believe I lost one of the Men I looked up to/admired to in my life

And it affected me a lot

But after losing this Third Uncle, who I really didn’t see very much during my life

But got along well with, and always kinda knew he was out there

I’ve hit a point that I think I have some healing to do in this area

Growing up without my Dad around, I always felt I adapted, as humans can do to a degree, and thus didn’t really need one

My mom has been with her Boyfriend for the last 39 years

And he and I are very close

But she told him, and any men she dated right from the start, not to parent us

And so, though I admire her boyfriend very much

He generally never Fathered me

On a Creative and Spiritual Level during the last 15 years, I’ve had a lot of growth

But in other ways, I’ve had some difficult things I’ve been dealing with

Namely some Anxiety issues

And though I had some serious breakthroughs last year

By the end of October last year, I found myself having to deal with them more again

Mainly, I suspect, due to several very stressful situations that were going on

Including losing my Uncle

I’ve been giving myself time to Heal…

And I have Healed greatly

But, like I say, just during this first part of the year I’ve come to realize more and more how much not having an emotional available father in my life is

I have had my Dad in my life my whole life…

But it’s a certain kind of relationship

One where we love, and like one another

But also one where I don’t feel he really knows me all that well

And now he’s 77, and I really don’t feel there’s any point in trying to convey this to him

He’s battling with being older I feel

And is doing the best he can

I used to call him every week or two, just to keep in touch

But that has become harder recently

Anyway…

The pain I’ve been feeling is very real in regards to all of this

And I am doing the best I can to cope, heal, and grow

Thanks for Reading/Listening

Hopefully some of you out there can relate

PICTURE CREDIT – Inner Child

DarkJade-

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Christmas In Bro Town

Posted in Editorial, Family, Holiday, Life on December 14, 2012 by darkjade68

100MEDIA95IMAG1440Christmas In Bro Town

Another Christmas is Coming, and it’s Another Christmas that I’m not with my Bro.

Granted, we’re not kids anymore, and he’s Created a whole New Life of his own North of me…

Wife and Kids Included.

But still, I miss em.

100MEDIA95IMAG4268Fortunately, due to Texting, I do receive the fairly frequent Text Photos, such as this Wintry Coffee here to the Right.

It’s actually his Oldest Sons 15th Birthday today, which is basically insane…

My 15th year was pretty much my toughest year as a kid… Kids were Cruel.

In fact, I actually Moved to My Dad’s in Arizona for that one year… It was a cool way to connect with My Dad, who I didn’t grow up with… But 9 months later after the school year, I moved back… I missed my Bro, My Mom and My Mom’s Boyfriend, who are My Closest Friends in this life of mine.

These days I’m also Close to My Eldest Sister, who wasn’t around much when I was a kid, but moved back to California from Northern Arizona maybe 10 or so years ago…

She’s itchen to move back to Northern Arizona, but that won’t probably happen until next year or so.

100MEDIA95IMAG4435She’s the one that Edited My Poetry Book, “Winter, Lust, And Wonder“, and My Novella, “I Died Once“.

But she said even if she moves, she’ll still Edit My Work, we’ll just work together ala Skype.

Here’s muh Bro’s Christmas Tree up above.

100MEDIA95IMAG4567Here it is lit on the right…

We’re actually getting our Tree Tomorrow, so… Stoked about that… Love the Smell of it going through the house.

It’s actually been quite cold here lately (Cold For Southern California that is, Lol)

Frost on the rooftops outside this morning…

So, easy to start to get in the Holiday Spirit.

Camera95C360952012-11-04-16-11-1695orgHere’s a Photo of My Dad, My Bro, and My Eldest Nephew (Whose My Second Sister’s Son)… Both of My Sisters are Older than me, and My Bro is 15 Months Younger. But we’re Closer than Twins.

My Nephew and Bro Live up North, but My Dad was up there Visiting them.

100MEDIA95IMAG4508Here’s a Photo of My Eldest Nephew (Sister’s Son), with My Bro and My Youngest Nephew (He’s My Bro’s Younger Son), after just seeing My Nephew Play the Nutcracker (He’s a Professional Ballet Dancer).

They Look a bit less Grumpy in this Pic, Lol

All’s Well in Bro Town it seems… And I’m glad, because he had a tough year… In fact He and his Boys were hopen to come down for Christmas This Year (They were here in August), but as it turns out, that won’t be happening…

Oh well, maybe Next Year.

On Christmas Day of 2010, Me, and My Girlfriend at the time, actually went up there and saw TRON with My Bro and his Boys on Christmas Day, which was pretty damn Cool.

The year before that, I was down here, and My Girlfriend back then, and I saw Avatar on Christmas Day… Because My Family Celebrates Christmas Eve these days, Christmas Days sometimes end up being spent in Movie Theaters, Lol

Which is Pretty Damn Cool actually, Lol

Didn’t get to last year, but 2010, and 2009 were pretty Cool

Well enough of all this, Have A Good Weekend

DarkJade-

WE NOW RETURN YOU TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED (MORE LIKE RANDOMLY SCHEDULED, LOL) STORY, POETRY, MUSIC ETC. POSTINGS

November Is Here – Thanksgiving – Being Thankful

Posted in Entertainment, Family, Inspiration, Life with tags , , on November 1, 2012 by darkjade68

I came across some Really Cool Native American Art today… And it got me to thinking.

Now I didn’t grow up in a Religious Household by any means… No, for me, Holidays like Christmas, and Thanksgiving, basically had their own ‘American’ meaning.

Yes, for some These Holidays have to do with God, some have to do with Their Childhoods, some have to do with like I say, ‘American’ Culture.

And though I don’t feel that what happened to American Indians when we took over this Continent is right… I do accept it as part of American History, and also as part of the way the World Used to Work… And to a smaller degree, still does.

The Truth is, Native Americans had a Truly Beautiful Culture… Not that I know much about it… And I know that particular Tribes were most likely not as ‘friendly’ as others, so to speak.

None the less, in my opinion at least, there was a ‘Beauty’ about their Simplicity.

Hunt… Gather… Praise the Gods, or Spirits… Family… Tribal Community… Dance by Firelight

And much more, that I simply am not educated enough to touch on.

So being it is their Land that our Ancestors Took (No Animosity Intended, these are just the facts), I thought it might be kind of cool to share some Native American Art During the Course of the Month, like the one demonstrated above.

Not because we as Americans owe it to anyone… As the individuals on both sides are long gone… But merely as a way of saying, I Appreciate the Beauty of what they were… What they did… What they Believed in… And like I say, the Simplicity, and Spirituality of their People.

I’m not sure who did this piece of Art, but on future posts during the Month of November, I will try my best to supply that information along with the Pictures.

Nuff Said

Enjoy Your November

It is Truly one of my Two Favorite Months… The other being December

DarkJade-

Refining What You Do… In Life… And In Work

Posted in Editorial, Family, Inspiration, Life, Love, Writing with tags , on September 17, 2012 by darkjade68

Refining What You Do… In Life… And In Work

It’s funny, there seems to come times in life when it’s good (or at least I think it’s good) to reflect upon what you are doing in your life… Both in your Every Day/Personal Life, and in your Professional, And/Or Artistic Life.

A time when you find yourself with 8 or 9 things on your plate, and really only have time for maybe 4 to 6.

I think of it as kind of a time of Self Refinement in what you do.

Personal Life

In your Personal Life it might be something like asking yourself things like.

1) Who am I spending my time around? Are they good for me, or not so good for me… This can be any sort of Relationship in your life, whether it’s a Romantic One, Family One, Friend One, Work One. A Relationship isn’t just a name for a Romantic Relationship, it’s a name for any person you connect with in your life, in any shape or form

2) Am I happy at my job? Or am I just there because I need the cash, or simply have been doing it so long, that I haven’t considered doing something else?

3) Am I pursuing any of my Passions? Be it a Career, a Hobby or in any other Form or way

4) Do I like where I live? Or am I here because I’ve been here so long, and am just used to it? Or can I afford no better? Or am I actually right where I want to be?

Professional, And Or Artistic Life

1) Am I Pursuing the Things I Love?

2) Am I surrounding myself with People, who Believe in me? Or at least, don’t Discourage me, or Belittle me?

3) Am I any good at what I’m interested in? And if I’m not all that good, do I still enjoy doing it enough to do it anyway? Or do I simply not know if I’m any good? And if so, am I pursuing ways to get people’s opinions?

Now that I think about it, I’m going to go ahead and Answer These Questions, maybe you will too down below in Comments.

Personal Life

1) – I have a Huge Family… But ever since I hit the age of 18-19, and who I was around became 100% my own choice, I only surrounded myself with just a hand full of My Relatives. Many I just didn’t click with, but the one’s that I do, are just Awesome. As far as Friends, I’ve had several Good Friends over the years, but I’ve never been a ‘socialite’… Sadly as time went by, most of my friends and I went in different directions. Which is ok. Only Two times in my life have I actually had to cut someone out of my life completely. It’s one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to do, but in both cases, these people were very, very dark people… And were simply not good for me to be around, or to speak with. Romantic Relationship wise, I’ve been Single for over a year now… But I’d say out of the 4 Woman that I’ve been In Love with, and Involved with, One of them was Extremely Encouraging, and Supportive… One didn’t care what I did either way… One was Discouraging, and not good for me to be around… And the other simply Loved me, and we weren’t together long enough for me to determine if she would have been Encouraging, or Discouraging… But she was definitely Supportive

2) – I am extremely Happy with My Job, because My Job is Pursuing being a Professional Writer… That’s my Full time job, though I’m not making a living at it yet, and have only truly been pursuing it consistently for just over a year now. My other Part Time Job is being an Admin/Marketing Consultant for an Architect, which I also Love. But up until the age of 30, I did not like My Jobs. But since then, I’ve been extremely happy Pursuing My Artistic Careers, and working for the Architect.

3) Yep, #3 I kind of covered in #2
4) – I Love where I live… I’m actually living where I grew up at the moment, which is an Amazing Place. But I also Loved Living up in San Jose, which I did for a Year and a Half. Wouldn’t mind being up there, but then again my last girlfriend is up there, so, Lol Maybe not

Professional, And/Or Artistic Life

1) – Once again, I kind of covered this in Question #2 up above.

2) – I spend the majority of my time with People who either are Supportive of what I do, or Encouraging of it… But this has not always been the case. I really started making sure that I’m around the right kind of people (And when I say ‘right kind’, I mean people who create a conducive environment for me) when I was around 30. It’s Extremely Important… It takes a lot of Work, and Guts to Put yourself out there and Pursue what you Love… And having people in our lives that Discourage Us, Don’t Believe In Us, or Belittle what we do, is simply Devastating… I will not allow this… I do not allow this. But, once again, before the age of 30, I was with someone who absolutely Discouraged me and was not Supportive. Since we split, I only surround myself with people that are not that way.  Whether they’re Family, or not…. I won’t tolerate it. Needless to say, you don’t see me at all the Family Picnics, Lol

3) – By Creating My Many Blogs, especially this one, The Dark Globe, and Dark’s Media Empire… It has Created an Opportunity to ‘not see if everyone’ likes my work, but rather to determine if ‘anyone’ likes my work.

From what I’ve heard, it’s good to Create something that you, yourself Like, and or Love… And then if there’s others that feel the same? Great! In My First Year of Pursuing Writing as a Profession, I have determined that some People Like My Poems, Some My Stories, some My Editorials, Some Like all of these things, or a couple of these things… And some don’t care for any of them, and simply don’t come back to my site. So, to me, it’s been a Great Success.

Would I continue Pursuing Writing Professionally if absolutely no one seemed to like it? Maybe not. I mean, I might continue to Write for my own Enjoyment, but I’m not sure I’d keep Posting it, to No, or Bad Response, Lol… Might be kind of hard on the Self Esteem, Lol

Anyway, Nuff Said

Would Love to Hear your Answers to some of these Questions

Thanks for Listening/Reading

DarkJade-

Mom Turns 71 – The Best Mom In The World

Posted in Editorial, Family, Holiday, Life on August 31, 2012 by darkjade68

Mom Turns 71 – The Best Mom In The World

My Mom turned 71 today…

She’s always been one of My Best Friends all of My Life, along with My Brother.

Growing up, it was Her, My Brother and I for the most part. Oh, and her Boyfriend of over 30 years now.

I have two older Sisters, but they weren’t around much when I was a kid.

Mom always made sure we were fed, and had ‘good shoes’, Lol… Yes, though we didn’t have much money, you’d often see My Brother and I in NIKE shoes, Lol

She had heard, and believed, that Shoes were a very important thing.

We grew up in a little canyon home, and when we were young, she basically gave the living room to My Brother and I, as our Place to Play and be Creative.

And that we did.

We must have had over 100 Action Figures, and would Create Huge Story Lines in there, and stay up late trying to finish them.

I do believe that this contributed to my Interest in Film Making/Story Telling… That, and The First Two Star Wars Movies, “Star Wars” and “The Empire Strikes Back.”

I remember on some days my brother and I would be playing, and Mom would get home with a Huge Bucket of KFC Chicken… Now we couldn’t afford it all of the time (Not that you want to eat it all the time anyways, Lol), but when she could pull it off, it was Awesome.

The four us would go to Movies together, or to the Mall… But for the most part, My Brother and I liked to be at home playing Action Figures.

Halloween was also Awesome… She’d drive us and a couple of our Friends around the neighborhood really slow (Back when kids used to Trick or Treat there, now Kids go to Malls to Trick or Treat… Or Track Home Areas, partly to do with Safety Sadly)…

Then we’d go home, our Pillowcases Filled, and Play Poker for the Candy, Ha

Yeah Halloween was a Big Deal to My Brother and I…

So was Christmas…

Like I say, we didn’t have a lot of Money… Though our Shoes were kind of expensive, everything else was pretty tight, Lol

But for us, Christmas meant “Time With Family”… Christmas Dinner… Some modest Presents… Christmas Music… Christmas Specials, Like “Rudolph”… Yes, I have to say, I absolutely “Love Christmas”…

And ever since then, I have been the Main Person that Decorates even now… And I used to be the one that Brought the Christmas Tree, back when I had a Pickup.

Growing up with Our Mom in our Little Canyon Home was the Best… And though My Brother and I hated School, and were pretty miserable there… Whenever we’d get home, we were as Happy as Could be.

These days, One of My Sisters has a Son, who is actually a Professional Ballet Dancer, and also Does some Choreography… That Sister Sings Opera, so there’s definitely a lot of Artists in our Family.

And My Brother has his Two Sons…

And they all Love to come and Visit Her at her Little Canyon Home that she still owns.

Happy Birthday Mom, You’re The Best!

DarkJade-

Chillen With The Boys

Posted in Baseball, Cooking, Family, Life with tags on August 5, 2012 by darkjade68

Chillen With The Boys

My Brother and My Two Nephews have been here for the last several days… It’s been great.

Watchen movies, cooken for em, Playen some Dungeons & Dragons… And Magic The Gathering.

And Last night I got to play some Guitar with the Oldest, who is a natural.

Oh, and played a bit of Catch with a baseball as well… They’re both natural athletes, but the littlest one here I think might actually play some ball.

I hope he does, like I say, he’s a natural.

Mostly it’s just good to see them, as it’s been over 19 months since I had… But hopefully they’ll be back down here sooner this time… Maybe even Thanksgiving…

We shall see

DarkJade-